Navigating a Difficult Mother's Day

To those who find celebrating Mother’s Day to be difficult, this is for you. We know this day can bring up a flurry of emotions, and we want to acknowledge the many ways that can feel heavy. Whether you’re navigating grief from loss, sitting in a season of waiting, or this holiday feels hard for a myriad of other reasons, your feelings are real and they matter. 

Why Mother’s Day Might Be Difficult:

You’re grieving the loss of your mother, or a mother-figure. 

This day can bring up a multitude of feelings. You’re allowed to feel it all. There is no one "right" way to mark Mother's Day after the loss of a mom, grandmother, or mother-figure, so listen to your heart and take things at your own pace.

You’re trying to conceive and in a season of waiting.

Mother’s Day may bring that quiet ache for what you’ve wanted for so long. Your longing is valid, and you’re not alone.

You’ve lost a child.

No words can fill that space. Your love and your grief are seen and honored. 

You’ve experienced a miscarriage.

Your experience matters, even if it’s invisible to others. Take tender care of your heart on Mother's Day.

Your relationship with your mother is strained.

Mother’s Day can bring up mixed emotions, especially if your relationship with your mother figure is complicated. Whether you're estranged from your mother, or going through a rough patch, It’s okay to honor your feelings, set boundaries, and care for yourself in the ways you need most this holiday.

Distance or finances keep you apart from your mom.

Being far away doesn’t mean you love them any less. There are still meaningful ways to show you care from afar. 

You might feel pressure to participate in the holiday, but it’s okay to step back, or not participate at all. This is a good moment to slow down and nurture yourself. Giving yourself permission to grieve is a powerful act of self-care. We highly recommend creating a cozy and comforting space at home, and allowing yourself to move gently through the day. You don’t have to explain your boundaries or attend events that feel too heavy. Choosing peace for yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.

“My Dad passed away several years ago, so I feel this deeply on Father’s Day. The first few Father’s Days after he passed, my sister and I would take a lot of steps in order to make the day less painful and it really helped. I feel so strongly about this for any day that might be hard for you to navigate.” -Meg

Ways to Gently Care for Yourself This Mother’s Day:

Stay off social media

Give yourself permission to unplug from the social media scroll. Protect your peace by stepping away from highlight reels and curated celebrations. 

Watch a favorite movie or your mother figure or one that feels comforting

Whether it’s nostalgic, a tear-jerker, or just down right cheesy, let this be an escape or a tribute to them.

Listen to music they loved

Creating a playlist of their favorite songs or playing their favorite records on the old record player are a great way of celebrating quietly. Let the lyrics and melodies carry her memory or your emotions.

Create art

Try paintings, collage making, arrange flowers, or even draw. Staying fully present in a craft or activity is great for your mental wellbeing. 

Tackle a project

Channel your energy into something productive, whether it’s rearranging a room or finally tackling that DIY project from your Pinterest board. It can bring a sense of grounding and accomplishment to focus on a positive task.

Cook a comforting meal

Recreate a family recipe, or try something entirely new that makes you feel good. Food is healing.

Buy yourself flowers the week before to have their beauty in your space 

Flowers are scientifically proven to make you feel good. If you want to avoid the Mother's Day crowds, order flowers a week before the holiday, so you don’t have to go out during this time.

Write in a journal

Write about your feelings, your experiences, your accomplishments, or your goals for the future. 

Spend time with women, mother figures, or others in your life who hold a maternal presence

Seek out connections in chosen family and friends. There are so many folks in our community who understand that Mother's Day isn't always easy. You don’t have to carry the weight of this holiday alone.

Know someone for whom Mother's Day is a difficult time? We've got a card for that. If your loved one has suffered a recent loss, the first holiday without Mom can be hardest to navigate. We have tips for writing a sympathy card to help get you started. Sending a handwritten note of support can mean everything to someone struggling through a difficult holiday season. 

However you’re feeling this Mother’s Day, we want you to feel seen. It’s ok if the day is a big mix of emotions. There’s no right way to move through it, only the way that feels most gentle for you. At Native Poppy, we believe in holding space for tenderness. You don’t have to go through this alone. Our team is here for you, offering care, community, and, when you need them, flowers.